Who am I? I am a girl, but my father wanted a son. How can I be a culprit? Is being a girl is a mistake of mine? I felt the pressure of not being a son for last 30 years. Being a girl, I never taught what to do? But more than thousand advises I got what not to do. I should be silent, I should not answer to anyone for anything. I can’t make friends especially male friends, I can’t choose my own subject for studies. I can’t choose my college, I can’t choose my interest. And at the end, I can’t choose my life partner because I have no sense of Right and wrong. I can’t vote anyone or support anyone because whom to vote will be decided by parents/ husband or guardians. I am a bonded girl who is taught you have no rights for deciding your future. Is this the story of mine only? No, it is about 63% of the female where the total population of a female in India itself is 70 crores.
Today we talk a lot about women freedom of expression, empowerment gender equality etc… but do a girl (Adult) had ever any rights to express her feelings, like, dislike or her suggestion to her parents, family or anybody? The truth is no if she expresses then she will not be counted as a good girl because our men mentality the society doesn’t allow a girl to express herself. There are certain rules made for a female. I do agree with the fact that a few of girls take advantage of freedom, but for that do all girls need to suffer. Why all that no to do is made for girls or women, why masculine gender is taught what not to do? If a son is dating a girl than it is fine but if a girl is dating a boy then it’s wrong. It is really the height of double mentality.
We can say I am feared of being a girl because my parents are scared of having a daughter. Why are they sacred? Everybody hold their own views on it. More of them say we got extra responsibilities to influence the girl child about society and had to save her from bad elements of this cruel world. And on the top of finding her life partner, dowry culture etc. When a female is pregnant her husband, family and everybody in this damn word expect a baby boy only and if the result is opposite depression can be seen on their faces. Even when a mother doesn’t get happiness and shows her disappointment it hurts more. People forget that mother, wife or so on was a little girl one day.
People talk about the good girl and bad girl. Can you imagine 87% of educated, well-mannered so-called society people thinks if a girl is virgin is the definition of a good girl or you can say if girls accept being a slave is a good girl? If a girl answer or reply or deny being salve is a bad girl.
Well, I am also facing the same. My parents taught me to be silent, they taught me what not to do even during my studies they have chosen what I should do? When I completed my studies then they decided where I should work and where I should not work. They decided when I had to marry, they poured the answer I must give any boy during marriage process. I become a displayable item where anyone of my parents’ choice can ask me any question and I had to be polite and answer they my parents wanted me to. I was not allowed to give my opinion. My family members were worried that what society will say if I don’t get married now? I mean where was that society when a boy doesn’t marry? Why all the time society and compulsion come when it is about girl’s marriage. A girl gets married and being tortured but even then, unless there is no causality she is not allowed to dissolve her marriage because what society will say? I am not against the wish of parents or on their experience of handling things but I am against of a thought when some think that a girl is a curse? Really? Am I a curse? or burden of parents? A compulsion of Husband? Or a just a baby producing machine for in-laws? Who am I? What is the real existence of girl? Well, I tell you who am I? I am a daughter who takes cares of you, I am a sister who wishes your wellness, I am a wife who supports you in all your ups and downs, I am a mother who produces you in this world. I am a girl. In India in every statement girl is called as Goddess Laxmi but in behavior and mentality, a girl is a slave of man. I have been taught that a girl is having four types, Daughter, Sister wife and a mother who is meant for Love, Care, Support, and blessings. But nobody told that these are just a saying; in the actual feeling of Men, we are just a slave. And if we will talk about equality or freedom of expression or freedom of living our own life then all these tags of relationship gets into the problem. The relationship will be broken and will be counted as a Bad Girl. And the girl goes into a depression of losing her family and she continues to start living like a slave. Women empowerment is the top most the reason for Divorce in India. Divorce is conventionally a taboo subject and considered unacceptable by the guardians of the Indian society. But, the statistics show that the ‘happily ever after’ illusion may be heading towards demise. Though India is still at 2% divorce rate globally, the percentage has doubled in the last 5 years, especially in the urban and semi-urban cities. The ‘WE’ the phenomenon is here to stay. Today’s woman is educated and financially independent, and doesn’t mind voicing her opinion or fighting for her rights. She doesn’t want to stay fulfilled, doing only the mundane household chores. She wants more for herself. She can shoulder the family responsibilities, equally (or perhaps better?) as well as the man of the house. These days, women may want to opt out of their marriage, rather than leading an unhappy married life.
As a male, When I think of all these ideologies of our society I feel ashamed of being part of this culture. I feel like an illiterate person. I feel I am living in very early eras. I am a proud father of having a baby girl and I ensure it my little princess should never feel that she is a curse, because she is a blessing of God. And I am pretty sure on one very fine day mentality of being afraid of our male ruling society will be changed to Equality of Genders.